Player Advice From Players For Players

I have been following along with Prismatic Wasteland's Player Advice Blogwagon and have been discussing the various posts in Discord communities as they come across our feed. As was noted in the original post, most of the blogosphere is by GMs and for GMs. Despite the call for player advice I also noted a pattern that the vast majority of these posts were still by GMs and many of them seemed to be generally dictating their personal preferences for a player at their table in the form of player advice. While I think that GMs would definitely be served by communicating their preferences, especially when building a table of players, that is not always actionable player advice.

As someone who considered themselves a Forever GM until about two years ago, I have had the opportunity to play with some amazing people who consider themselves primarily players. Many of my tables right now are usually split pretty evenly between people who are primarily GMs, but use that table as their player fix, and people who are primarily players, folks who have either never have taken the GM chair, or who do so only rarely or intermittently these days.

So being inspired by this blogwagon in those groups I asked:

"For those of you who identify as, or consider yourself, PRIMARILY PLAYERS, what would be your top tips or advice be for being a good player at the table?

I got responses from seven amazing players I've gotten to play alongside, or GM for, who's play experiences range from starting in the AD&D days, to folks who only just started playing with Daggerheart about two years ago. Their experiences also cover a plethora of systems including, but not limited to, basically all the editions of D&D, Daggerheart, Blades in the Dark, Vampire the Masquerade/WoD, and dabblings of many more.

I think there's a huge difference between GMs dictating to players from on high what they want to see, versus fellow players sharing their top tips. So even though some of these might be "common sense" player tips I think it's important to get the actual player perspective.

Here are the responses they gave. I have mildly edited for clarity and organized them by topic for reference.

Respect at the table

"Don't be a jerk"

"Be open to changing your mind. Be flexible. Be a team player (this doesn't mean you can't have conflict between PCs but don't use a character's personality as an excuse to be a jerk)"

"I'd broadly say watch and listen to the other players at the table.
It's easy to mistake a pause while someone is considering their words in the moment for them being finished with their thought.
A lot of that is comfort at the table and with the group over time, but it is a skill that I think really great groups develop, but don't talk about."

"Put your phone away. Give other players your attention and equal time.
Be respectful. Discuss things with other players before taking any actions that are going to be like...major. Like you're gonna try and make the characters do some smooching or if you're going to clash with them. Interpersonal things."

"If the DM is doing so so much work you need to put in a little yourself. That's beyond just making the character sheet and simply showing up. Don't expect to have a glowing memory of your campaign without a little depth and investment in the story and the world as a whole. Every story where people are raving and in love with a past campaign you get to hear about their cool character, and who they were, and how invested they let themselves be"

"If the GM is obviously laying down direction they want you to go please take the bait"

Communication

• "Check in with the other players. No matter what kind of story is being told I think each group should strive to make it a safe space for big swings. No insults or jabs. Be there for the story regardless of "bad" decisions or low rolls, no matter what, be there for each other and enjoy the journey."
• "ABC Always be communicating! I think the context of this changes based on a number of different things like experience level, comfort level, etc. But communicate the important things! If the someone does something in game that makes you feel uncomfortable, let them know in a constructive manner!"
• "The goal of these games is to have fun and tell an awesome story! Communication either keeps this premise on track and everyone wins! or you find out that maybe its not the table for you (which is totally ok!)"

Sharing the Spotlight

• "Be mindful of your other players. It's easy to get swept up in story moments, wanting to continue a thread or mystery but should never try and shoulder it solo. Find ways to include others even if it's as simple as "I think I can undo the magic this way but welcome a second opinion." That way it creates bonding moments not only for characters but players alike and allows for other perspectives on things. All tabletop games are a collaborative group effort and there should always be that respect at the table"
• "Be aware/mindful of the other players at the table. By this I mean bring in the PC that's been quiet most of the session into a scene, offer that help action to aid others, tag team, don't hog the spotlight share it, be inclusive and collaborative. "
• "Don't be afraid to hang back. Sometimes the impulse to jump in and find a solution is strong but giving that opportunity for others to join in or collaborate with someone can create some epic and memorable moments."
• "Agreed! (In response to the above statement) I've gotten better at it but I still give in to the jump in impulse I think. I do think its a skill people can grow in and with more experience its easier to gauge those moments and know when to hang back"
• "Offer a hand, create the opportunity. If you notice another player being quiet or not having a moment to speak, I recommend creating an opportunity in character when possible. Maybe your character is curious about theirs? Maybe your character noticed an item or a habit of theirs? Sometimes creating an opportunity for your characters to interact, to have a personal moment, falls to you. Moments like this have been memorable to me. It helps create stakes for characters and players. Don't be obnoxious about it and if you aren't ever sure, just ask privately if such a moment is fine with the other player. "

General Player Tips

• "Celebrate when other players and/or the GM do something awesome!"
• "Lean into failure when it comes around. Your rolls are your agency in influencing the world at large and the story. If you're fudging rolls, and want to treat it like you're just hitting a button, you're going to tell a boring story that you're not going to reminisce on. But if you lean into it including the failure and the awkwardness that adding a random element to story telling gives then you're going to have a much better time and create a much better time for everyone else too"
• "Lean into your rolls, not even just with failure. I think it's more interesting to give more detail than just "I roll to hit. I get a 19. I hit. Here's 10 damage". Act out the thing. What does your hit look like? Or like you inspect something, you roll a 12 but the DC is 15. GM says you missed. You might say you're furrowing your brow to remember, and there's something in your head that seems familiar but you just can't recall right now. It's much better than "you don't know what it is""
• "Give your characters some depth, and don't just play cookie cutter folk with no personality. Use background questionnaires or something like the Connection Questions in Daggerheart to help flesh out your character."
• "Every story needs downbeats. Romances need third act breakups. Odysseus needs to be blown back out to sea when he finally reaches the shores of home. There's no real point in a story without some adversity. Yes, the GM provides that with villains and encounters, but if you're playing a cardboard cut out and not leaning in then its not worth it."
• "Steal ideas from your favorite things. There's no such thing as original ideas. Everything has been done in some way, it's just about how you make it your own thing."

I hope you enjoyed these player tips! If you are a Forever GM, I encourage you to spend some time on the other side of the screen. It has been so insightful and a huge level up to my GMing to get a perspective of what it's like on the other side of the screen.

Great players make the world go round, so if you have some at your table cherish them!

Ask your Primarily Players what their best player advice tips would be and share them below! I'd love to learn from the best.